Crappy Holidays & Other Economic Carols For 2020 While singing of all sorts is officially off the table in Newsom's Californiastan, the kind gentle folk at BMO Capital Markets offer the following 'Economic Carols' for your entertainment... It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Stimulus (sung to the tune of It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas) It’s beginning to look a lot like stimulus Everywhere you go; Tossing out fives and tens, in billions once again With CRB and EI still to flow It’s beginning to look a lot like stimulus, Nobody in the store, But the prettiest sight to see is the CEWS cheque that will be On your own front door. More federal transfers and stabilization money Is the wish of Kenney and Ford; Wealth taxes and basic income With the NDP strikes a chord; And Bay Street can hardly wait for a fiscal anchor thrown overboard. It’s beginning to look a lot like stimulus, Everywhere you go; There’s vacancy in the hotel, and in the condo as well, But credit continues to flow. It’s beginning to look a lot like stimulus, Soon the expansion will start, And the question it will bring to investors with a ring: Will our credit rating fall apart? - Robert Kavcic Here Comes Tesla Stock (sung to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus) Here comes Tesla Stock, here comes Tesla Stock, right down S&P Lane Apple and Amazon and all the tech names pulling on the reins Bells are ringing, traders singing, all is merry and bright So load your orders and say your prayers, ’cause Tesla Stock joins tonight Here comes Tesla Stock, here comes Tesla Stock, right down S&P Lane It’s got a bag that’s filled with cars for boys and girls again See those EVs pullin’ past you, oh what a beautiful sight So jump in bed and cover your head, ’cause Tesla Stock joins tonight Here comes Tesla Stock, here comes Tesla Stock, right down S&P Lane It doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, it loves you just the same Tesla Stock knows we’re all good indexers, that makes everything right So close your eyes and buy it dear, ’cause Tesla Stock joins tonight Here comes Tesla Stock, here comes Tesla Stock, right down S&P Lane It’ll come around when chimes ring out that its P/E is soarin’ again Tracking Error will come to none if we just follow it tight So let’s give thanks to the lithium car, ’cause Tesla Stock joins tonight - Douglas Porter I'll Be Home For Christmas I’ll be home for Christmas You can count on me Please have food and firewood And all else by delivery Christmas eve will find me Where the TV light gleams I’ll be (most definitely) home for Christmas Not only in my dreams I’ll be (no real options) home for Christmas That is the reality Those in T-O, and all Ontario Will stack pizza boxes by the tree Christmas eve will find me Gazing blankly at the screens I’ll be (where else?) home for Christmas Not only in my dreams - Douglas Porter Housing Wonderland (sung to the tune of Winter Wonderland) Door bells ring Are you listening In the main Prices are glistening A startling sight Owners are happy tonight Walking in a housing wonderland Gone away is the commuter Here to stay is a new bird It sings a new song As we telework along Walking in a housing wonderland In the city we can build a condo Then pretend that folks will stick around They’ll say: Are you crazy? We’ll say: Yes man As you can do the job from out of town Later on We’ll aspire As we lift prices higher To face unafraid The debts that we’ve made Walking in a housing wonderland In the suburbs we can build a mansion And pretend the market won’t slow down We’ll have lots of fun with mister mansion Until the bill collectors come around When Covid goes Ain’t it thrilling Though your rate gets a climbing We’ll panic and pay Bid prices up and away Walking in a housing wonderland - Sal Guatieri Blue Brexit (sung to the tune of Blue Christmas) I’ll have a blue Brexit without EU I’ll be so blue just leaving without EU Governance, subsidies; can’t forget those fisheries Won’t be the same, if Brussels is not here with me And when those blue tariffs start risin’ That’s when those blue growth rates start fallin’ We’ll be doin’ all right, in Tier 3 lockdown Christmas night But I’ll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Brexit - Jennifer Lee Crappy Holidays (sung to the tune of Happy Holidays) Crappy Holiday Crappy Holiday While the lockdown bells keep ringing May your larders be well stocked Crappy Holiday Crappy Holiday May the calendar stop bringing Crappy Holidays to you It’s the holiday season And Ursula is coming ’round The Recovery Fund is off of the ground When Pres. Lagarde gets into town She’ll be coming down the chimney, down Coming down the chimney, down It’s the holiday season And Rishi Sunak has got a scheme For furloughed workers who need more esteem But borrowing soared the Labour Party did scream He’ll be coming down the chimney, down Coming down the chimney, down BoJo wants some big trade deals, and some for steel And lots of goodies for you and for me So leave the talks, no deal… we walk With our financial industry It’s the holiday season With the whoop-de-do and hickory dock And don’t forget to hang up your sock ’Cause just exactly at 12 o’clock We’ll be leaving the customs union Leaving the customs union Leaving the customs union, down! - Jennifer Lee Bitcoin the Crypto Currency: Redux (sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) You know Zcash and SwiftCoin And Ethereum and IOTA Monero and Lite Coin And Dash and Ripple But do you recall The most famous Crypto of all? Bitcoin the crypto currency Had a very rapid rise And if you ever saw it You couldn’t wear all the gold it now buys All of the other currencies Used to laugh and call it names They never let poor Bitcoin Play in any currency games Then one rocky COVID year CME came to say Bitcoin with your blockchain air tight Won't you join our trading platform tonight? Then all the traders loved it Even as some shouted out “Ponzi” “Bitcoin the crypto currency You'll come back one day, just see!” - Douglas Porter Tyler Durden Thu, 12/24/2020 - 22:00