If you’re under 35, you’re a millennial. Recent culinary trends suggest that, while reading this, you might have an overpriced latte in one hand, and a fancy piece of toast smothered with avocados in the other. And some suggest that you’d rather waste your money on an Instagramable breakfast than make sensible investments like buying a house. Well, so says conventional grumpy wisdom, most recently articulated by Australian tycoon Tim Gurner, who made international headlines this month for blasting young home buyers for their spending habits. The 35-year-old property developer told the Australian edition of 60 Minutes that when he was saving for his first home, he “wasn’t buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each”. This is the same guy that made his money in real estate bemoaning young people not buying houses, isn’t it? Well, as a state licensed avocado vendor, I retort that young people need to buy more avocado toast instead of laughably stupid purchases like a house. I need to find where he’s buying $19 avocado toast, and sell to them. Sigh. All the sound and fury over this, when the lesson is simple. You should cultivate habits of thrift and frugality. You should be thrifty and frugal because it will enable you to save money. You should be thrifty and frugal because it’s better for the environment. You should be thrifty and frugal because it helps you develop self-reliance. You should be thrifty and frugal so that you will be better prepared for any reversal of fortune – whether personal, regional, or global. You should be thrifty and frugal so you can appreciate the truly important things in life, not the blind, unthinking accumulation and consumption of goods and services. A stereotype of Schrodinger’s Millennial: Simultaneously both extravagantly spending and penny-pinching. Simultaneously both lazy and workaholics. Simultaneously both overly idealistic and apathetic. Depending on what the Millennial Derangement Syndrome calls for.