43 Washington and Oregon Chipotle Restaurants Closed After E. Coli Outbreak. “Anyone who thinks they may have become ill from eating at a Chipotle restaurant in the past three weeks should consult their healthcare provider,” epidemiologist Dr. Scott Lindquist said in a Washington Health Department statement. Dr. Linquist added that bleeding out of one’s ass is NOT reason for concern, as it is a normal gastrointestinal response to Chipotle food. “I love the taste of Chipotle,” said Lindquist, “but I always have a spare pair of underwear handy whenever I eat there.” Is there anything at Chipotle worth eating even if there’s no threat of microbial death? I tried their chicken once and it was like hunks of rubber. The guacamole is slimed up; I’d throw up if I tried that crap. Unload your Chipotle from your portfolio. There’s no way I’d recommend this for retirement. Same reason people aren’t eating at McDonald’s (NYSE: MCD) is why people will stop going to chipotle. Chris Arnold, Chipotle’s communications director, said in a statement that the people who got sick ate at six different Chipotle restaurants. “The safety and wellbeing of our customers is always our highest priority,” he said. “We offer our deepest sympathies to those who have been affected by this situation.”