Mitch
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Mitch in $ Financial Freedom Chasers,

How to get your spouse on the same page - When one of you is a SAVER while the other a SPENDER

So you are a huge saver but your spouse is a huge spender. How do you fix this SUPER common issue?

I thought I should spend some time talking about this topic, because the number of married couples making it to retirement age without filing for divorce has shot WAY UP. One of the top reasons for divorce is disagreements about something finance related. It shouldn't be a surprise then, that I feel the need to bring up this topic.

Money fights - Are they just money fights, or is there something more to it?

Chances are, if you're having money fights with your spouse, there's probably something more going on in your lives that are not being addressed. For example, maybe you guys have disagreements in other areas in life and money fights are just a symptom. Do you and your spouse ever sit down and create a budget together?

Let's say for example, you are a saver and you would do everything within your powers to save even a dollar on your daily commute to and from work, while your spouse goes out and drains the bank account as a result of shopping sprees and so forth. It's frustrating for her because she can't see why you wouldn't just be a little less tight about money and enjoy life, while you can't see why she can't see from your point of view - that one day you want to become debt free and be able to live and retire like no one else.

Now, my fiance knows that I have this blog on whotrades so I can just passive aggressively show her one of my articles about saving and investing when I want to make a point without getting confrontational, but for those of you who don't have this luxury, you'll have to bring up the topic in a tactful manner. If you just barge into the room saying "Honey we need to sell everything we own so we can retire with dignity" then he or she's going to get DEFENSIVE no matter what.

You need to start the conversation with small talk. "Honey, how was your day at work?" From here, you slowly ease into the topic of finance and tell her WHY you want the two of you to be a little more frugal, not WHAT you should do. This is the mistake most people make, they talk too much about what needs to be done rather than why it needs to be done.

Next you two should need to sit down and create a SIMPLE BUDGET. When a budget has too many numbers and details, it gets intimidating and neither of you will keep up to your end of the bargain. I recommend splitting the budget into two categories: Necessities and unnecessary spendings. I'll go into more details on this in a later blog post but for now, understand that necessities are things you must spend, like rent or phone bills (usually recurring spendings) while unnecessary spendings (or flex budgets as I like to call it) are budgets set aside for things that are more flexible like food choices and adventure parks.

You don't need to be frugal but if you two can agree to address the number 1 problem that causes divorces in America, you'll start to find that your lives become much more fulfilling.

Thanks for reading!