Laura Banks
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Protect Your Skin With KFC's Extra Crispy Sunscreen

Colonel Sanders may be famous for his fried chicken, but now he’s protecting a lucky few from the harmful rays of the sun this summer with… his very own sunscreen? That’s right: after teasing the product on social media yesterday, KFC launched Extra Crispy Sunscreen so you can smell just as good as the Colonel’s trademarked Extra Crispy Chicken. The latest in a line of innovations that includes the Tray Typer and Watt-A-Box, KFC’s special blend of SPF 30 “helps protect your skin while the real fried chicken scent leaves you smelling delicious.” So how exactly does it work? Well, just like regular sunscreen, but with a hunger-inducing scent. As KFC hilariously puts it, “harmful ultraviolet rays bounce off your skin while the lovely fragrance rays penetrate it to give you a healthy chicken aroma.” And if that doesn’t convince you, there are testimonials like:

I used to get embarrassing sunburns all the time, which affected my social life. But because of Extra Crispy Sunscreen, I’m always tan and always smelling great! I’m way more popular now. I’m an Extra Crispy guy!

Sadly, however, the 3,000 bottles of the limited-edition sunscreen — which KFC, somehow, thought might last until the end of the September 30 promotion — have already been scooped up. Please accept their apologies, though, “in the form of this amazing website that you can still look at.”