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Thursday Humor: The Pros & Cons Of Fracking

Gas prices are plummeting across America thanks in part to the country doubling its daily oil exports, which is made possible by chemical fracturing technology that scientists have said wreaks havoc on the environment. Here are some pros and cons of fracking:

Pros

  • Blasts tens of thousands of gallons of chemicals deep underground, out of harm’s way
    Prompts important conversation about whether or not people have a right to clean water
    Chemical balance of breathable air getting a little staid
    Fact that shale well blowout could happen at any moment emphasizes ephemeral beauty of life
    Cancer research could use few more confounding variables
    Those hardest hit will be the voiceless

Cons

  • Dilutes perfectly good chemicals
  • Family history providing enough birth defects as it is
  • Class action lawsuits always take forever and are super boring
  • Noise of drilling day and night could keep up the oh-so-precious rural farmers who live nearby and need all the sleep their sweet little heads can get
  • Fewer excuses to spend time with oil-rich dictatorships
  • Gas still not zero dollars

 

Source: The Onion