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Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 10/24/15

I don't know whether it's possible to be sarcastic without offending somebody. Alfidi Capital isn't about sexism anymore but it's still difficult to find nice things to say about the human race. If anyone can find the happy medium between human progress and human deficiencies, it would be me, Yours Truly, the greatest Supreme Super-Genius the world has ever known.

The new consensus among the Federal Reserve's camp followers is that a rate hike probably won't happen this year. It sure looked like something was going to happen a few months ago when the Fed was leaking talking points. Either the gaggle of yahoos running the FOMC is so divided in their thinking that they can't get their leaks straight, or they care so little about how a rate hike will affect the economy that they don't mind confused messaging. I would clean up the Eccles building forthwith if I was over there. I would be like Hercules cleaning out the Augean stables.

Chinese experts predict continued growth for their economy. Someone over at that central bank missed the meeting where the lies about economic forecasts are supposed to be coordinated with lies about past results. Remember the Keqiang Index? Don't worry if you forgot it, because China's own economists are forgetting it too. It's hard to keep the lying up when natural resource exporters like Australia report dropoffs in ore shipments to China. Maybe the Chinese could start exporting baloney to drive their continued growth. Their economists are getting pretty good at spewing it.

Airbnb's business model is on the municipal ballot in San Francisco. The company's business model is at risk and it fought back with some snarky ads that caused a minor sandstorm. Elitist San Franciscans don't mind looking down their noses at less enlightened parts of the country. When a local company gores a few sacred cows by noting how its taxes could fund some of The City's most precious entitlements, people get upset. Well, fellow Frisco people, you've had it coming. If you act like spoiled children then don't be surprised when someone calls you out.

I think a lot of the sensitivity over the Airbnb ads comes from old money San Franciscans' dislike of Airbnb's nouveau riche status. Pedigreed people don't like upstarts tweaking their noses on their home turf. That would be like me attending the SF Opera and Symphony opening night galas and refusing to genuflect when some hoity-toity type tells me I don't belong there. Oh yeah, I've done that. I voted early in these elections and one of my votes was against the ballot measure that would have hurt Airbnb. Cheap tourists may be hurting established hotels, but their demand for unused apartments drives up demand for new housing.

I just threw dirt at the Federal Reserve, the People's Republic of China, and the city of San Francisco. Not once did I use any language that could possibly be construed as sexist. I call that progress.